In the past two months, we’ve all become intimately aware of the words ”sequester” and “sequestration.”
The word “sequester” sounds vaguely like a pharmaceutical drug. Perhaps that analogy is not too off the mark, since sequestration probably has just as many side effects.
Sequester may cause weakness, dizziness, and headaches, along with trouble sleeping. If you do take Sequester and you are unable to wake up, please consult with either a physician or 218 members (a majority) of Congress
If this was Sesame Street, Abby Cadabby would lead the conversation with a delightfully, charming member of Congress.
(Hey, this is my fantasy. If you’re going to go to a world of make-believe, you might as well go all the way.)
Congressman: What is sequestration Abby?
Abby waves her wand and make the Congressman disappear.
Please don’t think I’m at all unsympathetic to the harm caused by sequestration. Far from it, but at the moment, it very much feels like we’re all on a runaway train and we can’t get off. Unfortunately, in our case, Denzel Washington is not here to save us.
Which of the following real or make believe personas do you think would be best able to solve the deadlock over the United States budget and sequestration?
a) Denzel Washington
b) Bruce Springsteen (After all, he is “the Boss”)
c) John McLane of Die Hard (I’m not sure if he’s capable of solving a problem without blowing something up)
d) Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (He’s a wrestler, so I’m not really sure if he’s real or make-believe)
e) Jed Bartlett of the West Wing (WWBD?)
f) Harry Potter (“Stupify!”)
g) Strawberry Shortcake (Everyone seems happy and gets along on Strawberry Shortcake)
h) Animal from the Muppets (Not sure if he has the people skills to resolve this conflict, but his wild, out of control screaming seems oddly appropriate)
For the moment, I’ve chosen to fight lunacy with humor.
Maybe I could convince my landlord that in light of our family financial crisis we’re going to make across the board cuts to our family budget, and as a result, we will be sequestering a portion of our rent.
In the spirit of today’s topic, here are the top three things I would like to sequester.
1) The mess in our spare room
3) Cranky children. (when you’re ready to be cheerful again, you may unsequester yourselves)
What are the top three things you would like to sequester?